Consider a meeting where one person repeatedly interrupts a colleague. The person leading the meeting notices, but lets it go. There is a full agenda, time is running short, and addressing it would make an already difficult conversation more uncomfortable. Better to keep things moving.
The meeting ends. The interruption may seem like a small thing, especially alongside everything else demanding attention. Yet the people around that table leave with information that never appeared on the agenda. They have seen what someone can do without being challenged.
As leaders, we spend considerable time explaining our expectations. We talk about respect, accountability, teamwork, and doing the right thing. Those words matter. So does what happens when someone acts differently and we have an opportunity to respond.
What are people learning from what we allow?
You may recognize the person who always seems to take over a meeting. Whatever the topic, they find a way to steer the conversation toward something they want to discuss. Other people wait for an opening, the agenda gets pushed aside, and the decisions everyone came to make remain unresolved.
Why does someone do this? Sometimes enthusiasm gets ahead of judgment, or the person does not recognize how much time they are taking. Other times, holding the floor is a way to claim control or authority. Having the floor can give them a sense of authority, even when leading the meeting is someone else’s responsibility.
When the person leading the meeting allows this to continue, everyone else has to work around it. Eventually, some stop offering their views because they expect to be talked over anyway. Others wonder why they bothered preparing. The meeting keeps happening, but less gets accomplished.
The response in the meeting can be direct and courteous: “Let’s hear what she has to say, please.” If the discussion wanders, try, “That needs a separate conversation. Right now, we need to finish the topic we came here to address.” Then return the floor to the appropriate person and follow through.
Meeting structure helps, too. Distribute an agenda beforehand so people know the purpose and what they need to prepare. Open by stating the time available, the topics to cover, and the decisions needed before everyone leaves. Close by confirming what was decided, who is responsible for each action, and the deadlines.
If someone repeatedly takes over, address that pattern privately. You might begin: “In our last two meetings, you interrupted colleagues and took the discussion away from the agenda. We need your contribution, and we need everyone else’s as well.”
Give the person a chance to respond.
Explain what needs to change and how you will handle interruptions or departures from the agenda going forward. If it happens again during a meeting, step in calmly. The private conversation needs to be supported by what you do afterward.
Of course, meetings are only one place this shows up. It may be a strong performer who gets results while treating colleagues poorly. It may be a department that regularly misses an agreed deadline, leaving another department to scramble. Or it may be a familiar shortcut that creates extra work for everyone farther along in the process.
We usually have an explanation for leaving it alone. The person is under pressure. The client is important. This is a busy period. We intend to address it when things settle down, and then another week passes.
Each explanation may be reasonable on its own. The difficulty comes when a temporary exception becomes the way things work. People begin arranging their days around behavior everyone recognizes and nobody addresses. That adjustment consumes time and energy that could have gone toward serving clients, solving problems, or improving results.
From the leader’s chair, the situation may appear manageable. From another seat, it may look as though the organization has decided whose time and effort matter.
There is also a question worth asking ourselves before approaching anyone else: Have I helped this continue? Perhaps we have praised the results while avoiding a conversation about how they were achieved. Perhaps people raised the issue before and never heard back from us. Acknowledging our part gives the conversation a more honest starting point.
“I have let this go on longer than I should have” can be a useful sentence, provided we are prepared to act on what follows.
Think About This
What behavior have you become accustomed to that others are still paying a price for? What has your response taught people to expect?
Action Items
Choose one recurring situation you have been meaning to address. Describe what you have observed, explain its impact, and make the expectation clear. Agree on what will change and set a time to follow up.
If it involves meetings, begin with the next one: distribute the agenda beforehand, state the time available and decisions needed, and confirm responsibilities and deadlines before everyone leaves.
People pay attention to what you allow. Give them something better to expect—and follow through.
Wenkroy International LLC is a Professional Advisory company with a main purpose of helping entrepreneurs and business people create the strategy, the plan and the steps necessary to achieve that person’s vision for their business and often their life, while navigating the obstacles which may be blocking them from reaching their goals. The process may involve one on one coaching, advising, laser focus days, personal growth workshops and more. The methods utilized are determined together. The results and value positively impact individuals, teams, divisions and across entire companies. People are now able to focus on what matters most to them, because, they have clarity on where they are heading.
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