When someone comes to you and they are presenting a problem they have — Or more likely complaining about a situation they are not happy about — How long do you allow the person to vent and air out their view of the situation?
Do you nod and agree with them and say:
“Well life isn’t fair.”
Or
“Everyone has had to deal with things like this.”
Or
“Sorry to hear you’re having this……”
Seriously these are not really helpful remarks.
They may get you off the hook for the moment, however, they’re not helpful to the person.
A different approach to consider would be to say:
“Do you have some solutions to discuss?”
Or
“Have you thought of any solutions we may talk about together?”
Or
“If someone you know – came to you with a similar problem – what solutions would you propose for them to think about?”
These are the type of statements that will get the person engaged in results and solution thinking.
By responding in this way to the person you will be helping them move away from continually focusing on the problem and venting about it to anyone who lends an ear.
This is the type of situation which may come up with someone who works with you or for you. However, the conversation may come up in other areas in your life as well. For example, one of your children may come to you with this same complaint.
“I can’t believe I didn’t make varsity. I’m so much better than…”
Or
“Can you believe they didn’t give me the internship at….”
At this point you understand this isn’t only about problem conversations at the office.
These type of situations may come up anywhere in our lives.
Why not be the one person who listens for a little bit and then asks the question which may set the person free to find a solution that works.
“It’s not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”
– Eugene Ionesca
Wenkroy International LLC is a Professional Advisory company with a main purpose of helping entrepreneurs and business people create the strategy, the plan and the steps necessary to achieve that person’s vision for their business and often their life, while navigating the obstacles which may be blocking them from reaching their goals. The process may involve one on one coaching, advising, laser focus days, personal growth workshops and more. The methods utilized are determined together. The results and value positively impact individuals, teams, divisions and across entire companies. People are now able to focus on what matters most to them, because, they have clarity on where they are heading.
As always share the information in this article with people you know.
