Valentine’s week gives us permission to talk about something most leaders quietly avoid.
Love.
Not the greeting-card version.
Not just chocolate and roses.
The long-term, show-up-when-it’s-hard version.
The kind built on trust.
When you spend enough time around water — real water — you learn something quickly:
The weather changes.
The currents shift.
And in those moments, the only thing that matters is who’s in the boat with you.
Not who waved from shore.
Not who promised they’d join you someday.
Not who shows up only when it’s calm.
Who rows when it’s rough?
Who steadies the lines?
Who trusts you at the helm?
And just as important — who do you trust?
Leadership is often discussed in strategy sessions and performance reviews.
But real leadership shows up long before that.
It shows up at 6:00 a.m. when nobody is watching.
It shows up in how you speak to your spouse after a long day.
It shows up in whether your word consistently means something.
We can talk about communication skills and culture all day long — but none of it stands without trust.
Trust isn’t built in grand gestures.
It’s built in consistency.
Patty Ann and I have lived through seasons.
Career-building seasons.
Four-kids-going-in-every-direction seasons.
Stressful, uncertain, “what’s-next” seasons.
There were times when I got this wrong.
Times when work demanded more than it should have.
Times when fatigue showed up as short answers instead of patience.
Trust doesn’t build itself simply because we intend it to.
It builds because we adjust.
Because we notice.
Because we choose partnership over pride.
At home, trust is earned the same way it is in business — through reliability.
Through follow-through.
Through listening.
Love, at its core, is trust over time.
In business, we say we want high-performing teams.
Loyal people.
People who step up under pressure.
What I’ve noticed over the years is this:
Strong teams form around trust more than talent.
Loyalty grows where reliability is consistent.
People move into uncertain waters when they believe you won’t abandon them when conditions change.
We talk about leading from the front.
Walking the talk.
What we sometimes forget is that everyone is watching — not just how we perform, but how we relate.
That includes the people closest to us.
Out at sea, you don’t drop anchor every time the water gets choppy.
In open waters, dropping anchor can create more danger.
You adjust the helm.
You trust your crew.
You stay in motion.
Marriage is like that.
Partnership is like that.
Long-term leadership is like that.
You communicate.
You recalibrate.
You keep moving forward together.
When we focus only on the business side of leadership, we’re not seeing the whole picture.
Character fills in the rest.
If I’m impatient at home, it eventually leaks into my leadership.
If I avoid difficult conversations personally, I’ll avoid them professionally.
If I struggle to apologize in my marriage, I’ll struggle to repair with my team.
We don’t get two character files — one for home and one for work.
We are one person.
Trust is built in the small moments:
- When you say you’ll be there — and you are.
- When you put the phone down and give full attention.
- When you acknowledge effort.
- When you admit you were wrong.
- When you protect the relationship instead of winning the argument.
No fireworks.
No applause.
Just steady presence.
Flowers and chocolates are welcome.
They’re kind.
They’re thoughtful.
But what seems to last longer — and matter more — is something deeper.
The quiet power of staying.
The discipline of showing up.
The courage to repair.
The humility to listen.
The consistency to earn trust again and again.
There is something powerful about knowing who’s in your boat.
There is something even more powerful about being the kind of person others feel safe rowing with.
Leadership isn’t only about steering.
It’s about creating an environment where people trust the direction — and the person at the helm.
That starts at home.
It extends to the workplace.
It shapes culture more than any mission statement ever could.
This week, perhaps the better question isn’t what gesture to make.
It may be:
Where can I —
- Be more consistent?
- Listen more carefully?
- Repair something small before it becomes something large?
- Strengthen trust instead of assuming it already exists?
Who’s in your boat?
And just as important…
Are you someone they trust when the waters get rough?
Think About:
- Would the people closest to you describe you as dependable?
- Do you stay steady when conditions shift — or withdraw?
- Are you leading by example at home as clearly as you expect to at work?
Action Steps:
- Tell one person this week specifically why you trust and appreciate them.
- Repair one small fracture in a relationship before it widens.
- Show up — fully present — for one important conversation.
- Follow through on something you’ve quietly postponed.
Trust compounds.
Over time.
Wenkroy International LLC is a Professional Advisory company with a main purpose of helping entrepreneurs and business people create the strategy, the plan and the steps necessary to achieve that person’s vision for their business and often their life, while navigating the obstacles which may be blocking them from reaching their goals. The process may involve one on one coaching, advising, laser focus days, personal growth workshops and more. The methods utilized are determined together. The results and value positively impact individuals, teams, divisions and across entire companies. People are now able to focus on what matters most to them, because, they have clarity on where they are heading.
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