“It’s not like I let people do things for me, so I guess you can call me a control freak, or you can call me passionate.” ~Courteney Cox
In our lives we cannot control everything. Those who try to control everything around them will ultimately live a miserable life. Imagine in your own personal life if you were able to control every single thing. What would that list look like against the reality list of how everything actually works? Why not list this out right now? Try something like this:
IN MY LIFE I WANT TO CONTROL:
1.
2.
3.
IN REALITY IT WORKS LIKE THIS:
1.
2.
3.
The key now is to own this list. Be okay with not being able to control each of these items in the reality column. Look over the items you want to control and determine if this really must be the case?
How about our lives in the business world? What if we were going to be able to control everything. What would be on this list now after comparing it to the original list? Would anyone else continue to work with you?
IN MY BUSINESS (OR CAREER) I NEED TO CONTROL:
1.
2.
3.
IN REALITY THESE ITEMS ARE NOT UNDER MY CONTROL:
1.
2.
3.
In the business world how much of a problem are the items not under your control?
“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” ~Unknown
This is especially dangerous behavior for an entrepreneur or anyone in a start up company. In a perfect scenario each person has their area(s) of expertise and they need to be given enough freedom to complete their mission.
If you are an entrepreneur or working in a start-up company try filling in this list:
TODAY I AM ABLE TO CONTROL:
1.
2.
3.
I AM OKAY WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL:
1.
2.
3.
Is it productive to be a total control freak at work? Is it okay in the business to share ownership across various people?
“Steve Jobs had his critics. Some saw him as an egomaniac, and others, as a control freak.” ~Kevin O’Leary
For us to stand a chance don’t we have to be comfortable with ourselves and our own beliefs. The flip side of that is to listen to what others have to say as anyone of us would be able to fall back into the ‘control this’ model.
Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.
Starting soon is the Empowerment Program. Sign up here to learn more about this program.
Mitch, I think this is very thought provoking, especially for entrepreneurs who tend to try to take on too much! It’s a great feeling to “let it go.” Thanks for the reminder and for the lists. I will ponder this post.
As a “recovering” control freak, the exercise that you present here is very valuable. It’s so important to identify what you are trying to control and if you actually can (which in most cases you can’t). I plan to share this exercise with my social media followers. Thanks for the quick links!