Are you a negative person or a positive person most of the time? Each of us falls into a category in terms of our outlook on life. More specifically on our outlook each and everyday and in the moments and interactions we have throughout our day.
There are many people who feel they are great ‘networkers’ – you fully understand that everything is in the follow up. It was during one of those follow up meetings, derived from networking and scheduling a follow up one-on-one meeting that my meeting with Phil (pseudonym) took place. Well Phil had nothing good to say about anyone or in fact about anything. A number of times while trying to change the subject or to bring to light a more positive spin, Phil ignored my attempts and would just launch into his next topic of choice to slam into!
Toward the end of our meeting the question had to be asked: “Phil, don’t you find it difficult to engage with clients and sell to clients when you are so negative about everything in life, including your work and your clients?” Here is how Phil responded; “Oh, Mitch it is just you and I here, no one else. Of course I would never speak this way in front of a client!” Consider the purpose of our meeting and the fact that Phil clearly asked me to make a few specific referrals to him. What is missing here? Write your thoughts in the comments area.
Don’t we all know someone like Phil? We cannot change them. What we can do is to intentionally distance ourselves from people who have a negative attitude.
Here are a few facts about people who tend to be positive most of the time:
According to The Mayo Clinic, positive thinking results in longer life, elevated moods, lowered stress, a boosted immune system, a stronger sense of well-being and better coping skills during times of higher than usual stress. Because of the connection between the body and mind, the psychological benefits of positive thinking tend to reinforce its physical benefits. Why hang around with negative people who would like nothing better than to have you join them and participate in their personal pity party?
What if you find yourself feeling negative more often than positive in your own attitude?
The first thing to recognize once you have determined to address this issue is that this will take perseverance as this is a behavior change. You will not be able to ‘snap your fingers’ and Presto Chango you will now always have a positive attitude. This will be a continual lifelong process. Is it worth the effort some might say? Absolutely worth the effort! A study by The Stanford Research Institute reported a full 87.5% of someone’s success can be traced to their positive attitudes. The remaining 12.5% reflects contributors to their success from aptitude, knowledge or skills.
Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified coach, trainer and speaker based in Stamford, CT.
Lisa Manyon says
I think we’d all prefer to be more positive and it requires making a choice. I believe we are in full control of how we choose to respond to all situations. By focusing on the lesson in every situation we are able to move forward instead of staying stuck in negative self-talk and behavior.